We all have our sad, heart breaking moments in life. I too have had a few. The only problem is that whenever I look at them in retrospect and try to narrate them, they come out a little funny..
They have never been funny to me, but strangely, the moment I start narrating them or putting them in words, It turns into a Raj Kapoor style tragic comedy..(Did I just make a self-congratulatory gesture here..?)
Talking of heart breaks, there are many sorts of heart breaks. They happen to you as a kid, as a little boy, as a teenager, as a grown up, as a student, as a friend, as a friend-turned-lover.
I don't think they hurt or feel so bad to everybody but there must be a lot of people out there who recognize what I mean. They are the kind of heart breaks that keep happening if you have an Over-active and Pseudo-real imagination like mine..
How each one of them can happen to you or happened to me could well be a story unto itself but its still in draft mode besides a lot else..(I just figured it out, thats the problem, just too many things remain in draft mode for me...ohh...the trials and tribulations of a thoughtful human...)
I think the 'bed of pain' part got inspired by 'Always' of Bon Jovi..I haven't done much editing with this but I think this could be a song if I had a band or something..:P
But anyways, for now, we have the lyrics..
I know commenting on Blogspot is a pain but you can use your Gmail ID for that and well...let me know if this is any good..:
WHAT I NEVER SAID
Did i say i am strong
Did i say i dont waana talk
Did i say i am not alone.
Ages passed and now i'm lying down here
On this cold flat bed of pain
Feel i was trapped for too long
In memories and that cold rain
When you went away i had no choice
but to let it slip and stop this noise
This voice in my head,this pain in my heart
that says i still need you
Still love you and will never stop.
I had to stop being weak
I had to stop showing these scars
I had to cover these wounds
and tell me that i don't care
and tell me that it'll pass
When I cried I hid behind these smiles
and the little jokes only I could see
When I cried I faced the mirror
and let that reflection laugh back on me
Did i say i dint need you
Did i say i am strong
Did i say i don waana talk
Did i say i am not alone.
This may sound more painful than one can ever feel in retrospect, but I guess this was the immediate aftermath, so not much help there in keeping it sobered..
I would love to explain the feelings behind those lines and put some more work into it.. Suggestions at modifications are welcome..Please feel free to help me out..
I know.. the same thing happens to me all the time..some ghambeerly painful incidents of one time turn out to be such stupid comedy incidents.. when i tell it to any1..:)
ReplyDeleteits not that one thing which doesn't goes..for me,its like that one series of event that leads to fall of pack of cards,,,n all u can do is to c that happening,,,,transfixed,,stupified !!! and,as per scars....its hurts and feel funny at the same time!!!may be its just our heart self-defense mechanism,....which kick in way too l'il & way too late!!!
ReplyDelete@Dimple Aapke case mein toh anyone can understand why they turn out to be comedy incidents...with the size of funny bone you have, I think it will be quite unavoidable, even if you try..:)..
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to trivialize 'ghambeerly painful incidents' but i think you have or you find more reasons to be happier than sad...we all try...:)
@Pooja..Series of events..??I really haven't known this feeling...Aisa helpless feel karna must be bad..par aisa bhi hamare saath kuch hota nahi hai yaar..the way i look at it, the world is far too big for my problems..I shouldn't be counting my blessings though..:P
ReplyDeleteAnd it maybe a defense mechanism but its not too late or little, usually it works fine...
Par haan..last time waale case mein i did need a few boosters, which I thankfully had available because of friends like you..:)
"Dil to baccha hai Ji..."
ReplyDeleteThe concept seems to stand the test of time, these tiny tidlings in the heart are just the most fascinating thing which adds that needed kick to life. Love is an enormous word, what we may actually perceive as love , could be just a liking or to put it in clear terms an infatuation. Its only when you realise that you are giggling off sitting idle or talking to yourself.....that you can actually say you are in love. Love is eternal, sanctified with purity, carrying an aroma of pleasure & comfort. One beautiful line dat i heard in some old hindi song goes like this
" Pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do, rishton ka ilzaam naa doo..."
So just chillax & love evrything around you.....
Hope u are taking good care of Yourselves....Just keep kicking..... :-)
@Sush..."Giggling off sitting idle"..Ha ha...right..?? Very well put..:)
ReplyDeleteLoving everything starts becoming difficult you know..Thats when I guess we look for that 'ONE' thing..
And yeah...I am taking care...trying all the time you know..hope to see everyone in August..Bas you people don't plan some tour or something around those dayslike you usually do..:P